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Belt up
Had a day free from thinking about refurbishing the shower room, though I did spend an hour scraping off old adhesive and creating more dust. I sorted through more boxes and found eight belts: three brown, one black, one purple, one blue, one white, and one gold. Can't remember when I last wore a belt so really they could all go to a charity shop and I wouldn't miss them. However, I haven't the heart to do so yet; I did wear belts years ago. Giving them away would be like giving away part of my life. Silly, but there it is.
I found a white cotton-knit sweater that I used to wear a lot but hadn't done so for ages. I tried it on; it still fitted but both of us had sagged, it more than I. The sleeves started mid upper arm and extended way beyond my fingers.
Someone spoke about 'a new initiative' on the radio this morning. Can there be old initiatives? I thought initiatives were new by definition.
Yesterday, John Humphrys, replying to a comment from someone about Creationism, I think it was, said: 'Yes, but whose facts?' Facts are facts, surely. If there is dispute then they are opinions. Interpretation of facts often varies.
Thought for today
Human company is a campfire ... a small flickering ward against darkness, but you only want to get close enough to toast marshmallows. Any closer, and you get that unpleasant smell of burning hair.
Quoted by Jane Juska, Unaccompanied Women, 2006
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1.12.06 19:26
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Plastic bags: one of life's necessities
If plastic bags are banned, what will dog owners use to pick up shit?
I was standing in the kitchen looking out of the window when a young man (in his thirties, maybe, but that's young compared with me) with a dog on a lead and a little girl walked past. As they reached my drive the dog squatted and crapped on the pavement. The chap reached into his trouser pocket, to find a plastic bag, I thought. It was empty. He reached into the other one, also empty. He searched in his jacket pocket. By this time I had grabbed one of the Sainsbury's plastic bags hanging by the back door and was poised to leap out of the front door if his third pocket was also empty. It was. Out I went and said loudly 'Here's a bag for you,' before he could walk away. He came up the drive, looking embarrassed, and took my offered bag. He said that he only lived round the corner and was about to go back to get a bag. 'Well, I've saved you the trouble,' I replied, thinking 'I wasn't taking any chances.'
The chap dutifully picked up the pieces and went off with his bag of shit. I felt less hungry after that.
Visited my mother in the afternoon. More tales of shit. How will homes for people with dementia cope without plastic bags?
Yesterday morning Gladys was standing at the bottom of the stairs when my parents come down for breakfast. 'And here's two more people coming down the stairs,' she said crossly. 'They must have stayed the night. I never invited them.'
The staff in the home offer visitors cups of tea or coffee. This afternoon as my mother and I drank our tea, Ada sat down at our table and said she was thirsty. She looked in the empty cup that was meant for my father who had wandered off. 'It's empty,' she said. She picked up the milk jug and looked in that. It contained milk so she took a swig. 'That was nice,' she said and off she went.
Thought for today
When Ah hear a chap wishin' he's nivver been born, Ah think he's wastin' his time, for other fowk'll wish that for him.
Rowland Lindup, Yorkshire Wit and Wisdom from Old Amos
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3.12.06 18:34
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Lest we forget
The following is from Oxford Guide to Plain English by Martin Cutts, 2004.
The importance of thinking carefully about an audience's needs and, ideally, testing the usability of key public documents with them was evident in the muddle over the presidential elections in 2000. In Palm Beach County, the election supervisor decided that with ten names to fit on the ballot paper, two pages would be better than one. This, she felt, would make it easier for a mainly elderly electorate to deal with. She got the design of the paper approved by all the parties and the authorities. Yet when the real target audience came to use the paper, the design so misled them that 19,000 people double-punched their papers, invalidating them, while many staunch Democrats voted mistakenly for a right-wing candidate. From the ensuing mayhem, George W Bush emerged victorious over his Democrat rival, and many believe that world history has been significantly altered by a poor piece of document design.
Thought for today
I would wish that the superfluous and tedious statutes were made more plain and short, to the intent that men might better understand them.
Edward VI, 1550
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4.12.06 18:26
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Still working after all these years
Unpacked my ten year old Acorn computer today and connected it to all the various add-ons. It does look archaic; serial and parallel ports, zip drive, floppy drive, HP 4L printer. Even the monitor looks dated because it is huge; it's a CRT one. However, everything worked apart from the printer which I have yet to try. One initial problem was that, as I hadn't used it for seven months, I had forgotten how to; I couldn't remember the short cuts, e.g. ctrl+S doesn't save files on RiscOS (it's F3/Return).
The Times on Saturdays has a feature entitled: 'Not just anybody. How the fit and fabulous stay that way,' in which celebrities answer the same set of questions each week. Those who smoke won't stay fit and fabulous for long. Here are my answers to some of the questions.
What about the aging celebrity debate? What about it?
Would you ever go under the surgeon's knife? I already have; I have a four-inch scar on my left leg to show for it.
Got a bit of a taste for green tea, then? Green tea? Brown tea.
What interests, supplements to beat the winter chills? Stay away from those with colds.
Ever need to unlease some nervous energy? I go for a walk or, if it's raining, clean the house.
How do you keep on top of it? On top of what? Stress? I have a cup of tea.
How do you get your kicks? I go for a long walk.
Is your glass generally half full or half empty? Half empty, so I take steps to fill it up.
Speaking of full or empty glasses, what's your poison? Tea.
Greatest fears, ultimate ambitions? Water leaking in the house. To get the house straight and then be able to walk as much as I like.
Quote for today
Experience is knowin' all t'things tha shouldn't do.
Rowland Lindup, Yorkshire Wit and Wisdom, 1992
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5.12.06 19:25
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Word games
Went to my scrabble group in the afternoon and notched up a score of over 300. I think I am improving; I take less time to find a word. Mind you, some of them are feeble ones.
Two old, unhealthy looking ladies sat at the same table as I. Both had difficulty walking. One was very fat and needed sticks to support her; the other was arthritic and needed the support of a wheeled frame. They talked incessantly, mostly about who'd been burgled, who'd been ill and who'd been involved in a car crash. The man who'd been involved in a car crash had been well enough to make his way to work but his boss had taken one look at him and told him to go to hospital. This he did and was discharged after six hours. He had to take a taxi home which cost him £94.
The old dears' chatting taxed my concentration. I noticed they both scored more than 250. Their brains were in better shape than their bodies.
Found a cheque from the Inland Revenue sent to my father in 1999 for £740 which he never paid into his bank account. Today he received a cheque for £640 issued by HM Revenue and Customs, as they are now called, for cheques they sent to him in 1991. His private banker must have persuaded HM R and C to honour the old cheques. I'll send her the one I found today and, with a bit of luck, they should honour that too. Intelligence is no guarantee of a sensible lifestyle.
Thought for today
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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6.12.06 20:14
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Worthy of note
A sentence in the BMJ amused me. 'Today, although well versed in moral theory and occasionally graced with wisdom, most professional ethicists have no clinical training and would be unable to distinguish their gluteus maximus from their lateral epicondyle.'
A passage that I liked from The Carthusian was: The management of risk is paradoxical in that a balance has to be found between what is dangerous yet potentially rewarding and what is safe yet limiting. If extensive risk assessments and training courses can reduce the likelihood of injury or catastrophe, surely they have their place. But if the culture of risk avoidance is allowed to spread unchecked, then pupils will be the first to suffer.
I liked the description I heard yesterday of GWB. At a press conference he was 'studiously vague'.
Looked at properties for sale in the town where I used to live. Four that were for sale when I moved are still on the market. I think I was right to drop the price of mine; I may not have as much money as I'd hoped but at least I've moved, at least I've progressed.
Thought for today
God is not dead. He is alive and working on a much less ambitious project.
Graffito, 1975
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8.12.06 19:52
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Minds in a muddle
Visited the care home to see my parents and catch up on events. One evening my mother went up to their room to listen to her radio only to find someone fast asleep in her bed. She left the person, a woman, sleeping and turned on the radio whereupon the woman woke up and said: 'Oh, you've come up here now.' My mother explained that she'd come to listen to the radio. The woman replied that she didn't want to listen to that, so my mother turned it off and went downstairs. She said that she thought the woman was naked, because her clothes were scattered on the floor, and she didn't wish to turn a naked person out of her room. Downstairs she told a member of staff about the body in her bed. Forty-five minutes later, when she returned upstairs, her bed was empty. She pulled back the sheets and found that the woman had left her bra behind; a small bra, added my mother. Hers are not small, her bosom being not many to the kilo.
Gladys still plays up in the evenings. Her latest activity is to switch off lights; they are wasting electricity. Yesterday she switched off the Christmas tree lights, and then asked everyone in the lounge, one by one, if they were watching the telly. They said no, so she complained loudly: 'This television is on and no one is watching it. This is a waste of my money; I am only an old age pensioner.'
She is not so keen to hit people, said my mother, so perhaps the medication is having an effect. She chuckled and added: 'Any altercation draws them.' They interest and fascinate them; they go to watch. As soon as there are sounds of dispute, my father is one of the first to stand up and go to investigate.
Thought for today
Democracy is a device which ensures that we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
George Bernard Shaw
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10.12.06 19:43
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